Ladies : No sex without commitment! 

Because of the powerful charge of the sexually-stimulated hormone oxytocin, casual, non-committed sex can trigger a bonding in women that verges on physical addiction. A woman will bond to her man after one instance of good sex. She can stay bonded to him for a year or longer, from one sexual encounter. A man may feel bonded too, but he can easily go off and bond with other women as well. To alleviate this epidemic, try drawing a line and NOT having sex with men unless you have a commitment. This commitment is for continuity, longevity and monogamy.

The present moment of your life, when you really stop and notice it, is filled with constantly changing conditions. Yet, much of the anxiety in our lives comes from the fact that we cannot hold on to anyone or anything. How can we ever live happily knowing that nothing lasts? 

In the midst of constant change, perhaps what must stop is you? Is it possible that the only thing that could stop is you? Could it also be that, when you stop, you notice and appreciate the amazing array of interconnections continuously maintaining your life and linking you with so many others?

How do we live more authentic and fulfilling lives in an Instagram world?

This is not your typical rant about social media.

Watch me get all spiritual ..

Love addicts focus almost completely on the person to whom they are addicted. At the beginning, this feels fantastic. Eventually, as Love Addicts try harder and harder to manipulate the other person to live up to the mental image they have created -someone who will care for and love them the way they long to be cared for and loved- they experience repeated disappointments, because no one can satisfy these insatiable desires. 

Tragically, Love Addicts are usually drawn to Love Avoidants, who tend to avoid commitment and healthy intimacy because they believe that they will be drained and engulfed by it. Unconsciously, however, both the Love Addict and the Love Avoidant have the same two fears: intimacy and being left. Read on for a deeper explanation. 

The term narcissism gets thrown around a lot and, since it exists on a continuum, some cases are more obvious than others. For example, not all narcissists command the spotlight with their bold, brash personalities. Some narcissists demand the attention of the room by playing the victim or describing their problems as greater than anyone else’s problems. You may not immediately resonate with the idea of having a narcissistic parent or it may be uncomfortable for you to think of them in this way. However, as you begin to explore your childhood through a different lens, a more nuanced picture may emerge, which can help you understand yourself better. 

In case you haven’t noticed, you have a mental dialogue going on inside your head that never stops. It just keeps going and going. Have you ever wondered why it talks in there? How much of what it says turns out to be true or is even important? And if right now you are hearing, "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have any voice in my head!" -- that's the voice we're talking about. 

The best way to free yourself from this incessant chatter, is to step back and view it objectively. Don’t think about it, just notice it. It doesn't matter what it's saying, it's just a voice talking in your head. If you're hearing it talk, then it's obviously not you. You are not that voice. You are the one who hears the voice. You are the one who notices that it's talking. 

Have you wondered where your internalized message of "I'm not good enough," comes from? Do you feel you give life your best, work hard, try hard, but still can't give yourself credit? Are you constantly beating yourself up and thinking that somehow you should be more, do more, be better, and you don't measure up in your own mind? 

When a person experiences traumatic events, the aftermath can be extremely debilitating. Trauma not only affects the mind, but can have lifelong effects on the body. For survivors, their bodies feel deeply unsafe, so the enemy that was once living outside is now living within. So they need to befriend their bodies, safely go inside and experience themselves. There is too much emphasis on the capacity of the cognitive rational brain to conquer our irrational survival brain. You can't rely on reason, you need rely on mastery of your body, safety of your body, finding peace in your body. You need to find some way where your body once again feels like "I am in control of myself." 

• I'm numb a lot of the time. 
• It's like I have no emotions.
• Something is missing in me. 
• I feel empty inside. 
• What's it all for? What's the point? 
• Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? 
• Does anything really matter? 

Even more important than the specifics of the therapist's training, is the relationship between the two of you, which actually begins before the first session. Do you feel basically comfortable with this therapist? Does he or she seem to feel comfortable in his or her own skin and with you as a fellow human being? The critical question is this: Do you feel that your therapist is curious to find out who you are and what you need?

If you are a person who wants to be in a relationship, have you thought about why? Actually, there are two very different reasons for wanting a relationship. The first is about what you want to get, and the second is about what you want to learn and share.

If you always find yourself attracted to unavailable people, perhaps you need to explore whether you are the one who is unavailable. Here are three ideas to chew on. 

Therapy works best when people take an interest in absorbing and synthesizing into their lives the ideas we explore in sessions. If you're looking for tools, here are some of my recommended resources, including books, podcasts, apps, videos, audio programs. I am always updating this list, so keep checking back. 

The Art of Allowing has to do with accepting things as they are. While this attitude of acceptance is important, it is also beneficial to learn how to positively effect change in our lives. The Law of Attraction guides us in how to manifest these changes. Now, this does not mean you can just think of what you want and it will magically happen. It is more nuanced than that. The following posts will give you some practical ideas of how to harness this power. 

The Law of Attraction is the idea that what you are giving attention to is what you will attract. Sound too easy? It gets more complicated when you actually try to put this into effect. The key to The Law of Attraction is that it's not only about thinking - it's about feeling positivity, abundance, gratitude, generosity. Because it's when you really feel these ways, that's when things start to click into place for you. 

There is nothing wrong with identifying a problem and looking for solutions. But many people become problem-oriented rather than solution-oriented, which continues to perpetuate the problem. Continuing to focus on complaints disallows improvement. The best way to accomplish an improved environment is to focus upon the best things in your current situation.  When you do this, you are in alignment with your best self. And when you are in alignment with your best self, you cannot help but uplift those with whom you come in contact. Your value to those around you can hinge on one thing: your personal alignment with yourself. 

You know the feeling when you're paddling against a current in a river or the ocean? You're kicking and working so hard, you're exhausting yourself -and you're going nowhere. It's a frustrating and draining experience. Now picture the feeling of letting go and floating with the current, maybe down a lazy river. You are carefree and effortless and you always head in the right direction. 

Whenever you find yourself fighting too hard to make something happen, forcing a situation, or feeling generally agitated, it's a clue that you might be in an upstream moment. If so, stop what you're doing and ask: What can I do in this moment to make myself feel a little bit better? How can I reach for a better-feeling thought?