Law of Attraction: The Art of Allowing

Taken when my puppy playfully kicked sand into my camera lens and broke it. Dillon Beach, Sonoma County

Law of Attraction Post #1

"When you argue with reality, you lose - but only 100% of the time." - Byron Katie

The Art of Allowing has to do with accepting things as they are. When you're able to allow people, things and situations to be as they are -- without judging them, trying to fix them or wanting to change them -- you begin to tap into the power of allowing. It's an ability to allow things to happen and materialize, without you having to control people or situations to make them happen. 

This dovetails with themes found in Mindfulness and Buddhist psychology, which teach us how to be with things as they are and how to minimize clinging or attaching too tightly to the way we want things to be. 

While this attitude of acceptance is important, it is also beneficial to learn how to positively effect change in our lives. The Law of Attraction guides us in how to manifest these changes. Now, this does not mean you can just think of what you want and it will magically happen. It is more nuanced than that. The following posts will give you some practical ideas of how to harness this power. 

Read more here 

Law of Attraction: How to Manifest

Rachel Adler by Della Chen

Law of Attraction Post #2

The Law of Attraction is at once simple and complicated. In short, it's the idea that what you are giving attention to is what you will attract. By focusing on positive or negative thoughts, you bring positive or negative experiences into your life. When you feel good, you put out positive energy and attract goodness into your life; when you are depressed, there's a negative feeling around you and that's what keeps showing up. Makes sense, right? 

It gets more complicated when you actually try to put this into effect. It can be annoying when someone tells you to "Think positive thoughts!" Simply imagining yourself in a happy relationship with a flush bank account doesn't miraculously make these things appear. The key to The Law of Attraction is that it's not only about thinking - it's about feeling positivity, abundance, gratitude, generosity. Because it's when you really feel these ways, that's when things start to click into place for you. 

While it's important to set goals and articulate what you want, what's more important is to start generating the feelings that you will have when you get those things that you want. 

(1) Perhaps you are wanting to make changes in your life because you are unhappy and would like to feel differently. You may feel depressed or anxious and you may be distracting, numbing or avoiding these feelings. In order to healthfully move beyond this place, you may have to let yourself BE with these uncomfortable sensations for a bit. None of us wants to feel discomfort, but learning to build tolerance for this state teaches us how to ACCEPT our current reality. Peace comes from allowing and accepting life as it is, instead of thinking we need more or less of something in order to find happiness. You will be more open to manifesting what you want with The Law of Attraction if you come at it from a place of acceptance rather than running from something that you don't want. 

(2) During that process, start to awaken and open your heart, your body, and your senses. Do this by actively looking for small moments of pleasure, beauty, abundance, connection, peace and then heightening the experience and absorbing it into your body. Meter ran out and you came back to no ticket? Yes! You almost left your phone in the Uber, but you realized & stopped the driver before she took off? Phew! (You would certainly be bitching if it had gone the other way, so look for these small victories). Dog curls up at your feet? Mmmm. Someone smiles & waves when you let them into traffic? Sweet. Look for these little moments and when they happen imagine your body like a sponge soaking up the good feeling into your body, blood, bones. Imagine drinking a warm cup of tea and letting these experiences warm your body from the inside (see more here). Make an active effort to feel these small positive moments in your body. Try listening to a Loving Kindness meditation, an ancient tradition to open the heart. You can find plenty of guided meditations online. Some of my favorite teachers are Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Pema Chodron. 

(3) Explore what it is that you are truly seeking. What is the inner experience you're really craving? If you got the right partner, that financial security, success in your profession, the body you want, that child ... What would that give you that you're really wanting? Ask again, keep diving deeper. What is it that you're wanting to feel or experience? If you got that thing, how would you be different than you are now? Would it be that you could relax and enjoy moments? Would it be a feeling of belonging? Of being more alive, more at home? Of being good enough the way you are? Feel what you're really wanting. Is it a feeling of inner peace, happiness? A sense of safety, security? A sense of meaning or purpose? 

(4) When you have some sense of what you're really longing for, ask yourself: "How would life be if I felt that way? How would I be different? How would my life look different? What would my relationships be like? What would I be doing differently?" And then start bringing these changes - in behavior, in attitude, in feeling - into your life. This is how you start to make changes in small ways. Once you do, you will already be starting to feel better. And when you feel better, according to the Law of Attraction, is when better things come your way. 

Read more here

Law of Attraction: Living in Alignment

"Calf Creek and Beyond" by Scotty Mitchell

Law of Attraction Post #3

The outside world is a reflection of your inner experience. 

The Law of Attraction is responding to your thoughts and to how you feel. If things are going well for you, keep focusing on the good things and the wellbeing will continue. But if there are things happening that are not pleasing, you must find a way of taking your attention away from those unwanted things. You have the ability to change your patterns of thought. 

There is nothing wrong with identifying a problem and looking for solutions. But many people become problem-oriented rather than solution-oriented, which continues to perpetuate the problem. Continuing to focus on complaints disallows improvement. The best way to accomplish an improved environment is to focus upon the best things in your current situation.  When you do this, you are in alignment with your best self. And when you are in alignment with your best self, you cannot help but uplift those with whom you come in contact. Your value to those around you can hinge on one thing: your personal alignment with yourself. 

• HOW TO LIVE IN ALIGNMENT WITH YOURSELF:

• Do what you can to feel better, but don't force yourself to feel better

• Say no to things that really aren't what you want, knowing what you do want will come along

• Believe you can have what you want

• Willingness to believe things can be different & believe there are forces happening behind the scenes which you cannot conceive or begin to understand - and that you don't need to understand. There are infinite ways for things to come together.

• Find ways to enjoy the process as it unfolds, rather than obsessing about how you'll get what you want & when that will be

• Treat yourself with love & care

• See you are valuable for simply existing

• HOW TO STAY OUT OF ALIGNMENT WITH YOURSELF:

• Believe and focus on negative & limiting thoughts

• Continue to take actions that make you feel crappy

• Be afraid of change or doing things differently

• Feel you need to have control over everything in your life

• Become super attached to things having to go a certain way

• Block the flow of things that you want

• Force things when they feel hard or frustrating

• Believe that you need to suffer to get what you want

Law of Attraction: Upstream / Downstream Thinking

Eliot Porter, "Ord River Marathon"

Law of Attraction Post #4

You know the feeling when you're paddling against a current in a river or the ocean? You're kicking and working so hard, you're exhausting yourself -and you're going nowhere. Or maybe you're even drifting further from where you want to be? It's a frustrating and draining experience. Now picture the feeling of letting go and floating with the current, maybe down a lazy river. You are carefree and effortless and you always head in the right direction. I find this metaphor very useful in daily life. 

Whenever you find yourself fighting too hard to make something happen, forcing a situation, or feeling generally agitated, it's a clue that you might be in an upstream moment. If so, stop what you're doing and ask: What can I do in this moment to make myself feel a little bit better? How can I reach for a better-feeling thought? 

You cannot expect to jump straight from discouraged to enthusiastic. So begin by aiming for a slight improvement, reaching for a thought that will bring a bit of relief. It's like that feeling of relief when you stop paddling against the stream and let yourself float naturally. It may not come immediately, but try to find something - anything - that is a better-feeling thought. Maybe you're able to find one thing that doesn't suck about this person or situation. Maybe you're too involved and you can take a step back. Maybe you get some perspective and realize this isn't such a big deal. Or try saying, "I don't need to figure this out right now." That feels better! We're highly skilled at negative thinking, so reversing this process will take some time, but it's like learning anything new.  

Here's an example (from Abraham Hicks) - picture yourself as a parent feeling frustrated about your children fighting: 

- My children are driving me crazy. (upstream)

- They fight constantly. (upstream)

- I can't find a way to stop them. (upstream)

- They won't listen to me. (upstream)

- I've tried everything I can think of. (upstream)

Feeling frustrated, hopeless, at your wit's end ... ARGH

Instead of trying to come up with a solution to the problem or trying to get someone else to change their behavior, your work is simply to find some relief for yourself in your own thoughts. 

- Their relationship is really between them. (downstream)

- They're probably not feeling as bad about their fighting as I am. (downstream)

- It's normal for kids to fight. (downstream)

- I'm sure they don't like feeling bad any more than I do. And if they're really feeling bad, they'll figure out how to stop it. (downstream)

- I'm making it worse by adding my negative response to the mix. I'm going to let them work it out. (downstream)

- I've really been making more of this than it deserves. (downstream)

Ahhhhhh Relief. Nothing in the situation has inherently changed, but you're feeling better. And probably with your more relaxed & positive energy, the situation will naturally shift on its own. This is how you get yourself into alignment and when you're in alignment is when you attract positive change. 

In the Flow

Being in the FLOW state, or “in the zone.” You’re completely involved in what you’re doing. Everything goes automatically without thinking. You’re focused, concentrated, there’s a sense of ecstasy, of being outside everyday reality. Great inner clarity - knowing what needs to be done and how to do it. Nothing else seems to matter. Timelessness, hours seem to pass by in minutes. Concentration is so intense that there’s no attention left to think about other problems. Self-consciousness disappears. You’re not worrying about stupid things, regretting what you did yesterday, stressing about what you’ll do tomorrow.

When I say FLOW I also think about upstream and downstream effort in your life. Upstream, when you're kicking so hard against a current and exhausting yourself to no avail. Downstream, when you stop fighting so hard and let the current naturally carry you. Do you know this upstream feeling I describe? When you're working way too hard to make something go the way you want, but it’s just not flowing smoothly. Versus letting go of the "This is what I want, this is how it should be" and allowing to happen whatever is naturally occurring.

Can you feel the relief in that! It gets easier. It might not be what you *thought* you wanted, but when you notice yourself working and trying too hard, just take your hands off the wheel and let go of the push. Something will happen. Not sure what, but something will - it always does.

Photo by Eliot Porter