Building Your Personal Power
Was my absolute pleasure to talk to these two dynamos on @cheaperthantherapythepodcast.
In the 2nd half of the convo, we get into my favorite topic: How to Build Your Personal Power! I do much more babbling on the show but here are some quick ideas:
#1 Our Minds are Something We All Have Influence Over
Even though it may not feel like it, you have control about what goes on in there.
#2 Rule It Like a King or Queen
Your mind is your kingdom. You are the leader and it wants to be led. Learn to do this with meditation by consciously directing your thoughts back to your breath.
#3 Ask For What You Want
It’s hard to let ourselves want something; it’s hard to risk the disappointment and pain of not getting it. But it’s important to say what we want and to let ourselves feel the longing of it.
#4 Say Thank You
Appreciate what you have. We all have many things to be grateful for. Our job is to look for them.
#5 Your Body is the Key
This can’t just be in the mind - you have to use your body. Go from passive body into active. Back erect, legs strong, blood flowing, eyes sharp. Feel like a lion. Extend your arms, imagine you’re palming a basketball. Your hands are not limp, they are magnetized. Lightning bolts could come through. You're building a visceral sense of power.
Now go back to your mind or the issue at hand. Feel any different?
#6 Visualization
Very Important! Neurons in our brain cannot tell the difference between what we're imagining and what is actually happening. If you generate feelings of love in your body, you will actually become more loving.
Feel your whole body in & out as you imagine - up & down, around, within, between, behind, above. Fill yourself up inside - go inside the actual organ of your heart! See the chambers pumping.
Picture someone you love and try to amplify that feeling in your heart. If you can tap into love, that's real power!
Please listen to the podcast @cheaperthantherapythepodcast for more ideas!
Psychedelics & EMDR
We love the transcendent opportunities of psychedelics, the profound shifts in perspective, the deeply felt sense of belonging and ok-ness.
Yes, they have become big business. Yes, proper facilitation and integration can be important to consider. Yes, they're amazing and, yes, they also get misused.
I feel like not enough people talk about the similarities between psychedelics and EMDR.
EMDR is a type of therapy, through gentle tapping on the body or guidance of eye movements, that opens and activates the subconscious mind.
There is an abundant amount of high-quality information in our subconscious. They key is in finding ways to access it - dreams, spiritual journeys, psychedelics, nature, art, EMDR.
In there is a universal wisdom deeper than what we can come up with in our conscious minds. Memories emerge and reframe; distorted thinking loosens; our bodies let go of the grips and find that oceanic calm.
We don’t exactly know how it works and we don’t know why, yet many people tap into something beyond themselves simply through accessing the subconscious.
The work is both fast and slow.
Weeks of preparatory process with your therapist can be helpful to open a path to your body and into your imagination. Together you'll choose a "target" to focus on - something coming up hot for you these days or something from your past - and then once you begin the tapping or the eye movements, the release can come pretty quickly.
You'll just follow whatever comes to mind .. could be a smell, a free association, a random memory, a fictional character, a joke.
You just follow the white rabbit. Doesn't need to make sense.
And somehow, somewhere, just like with psychedelics, something ✨clicks✨ and it all feels different.
Because once you see truth, you can't unsee it.
Positive Energy
Never underestimate the connection between the brain and body!
Physical pain, as well as psychological blocks, can be improved by increasing flow in the body.
Your body is a brilliant web of interconnected systems that need to stay open and move smoothly. When tissues and energy (or thoughts!) become stagnant, the movement of fluids & blood is slowed and hardening occurs.
You get it ~ the back pain after hours sitting at your computer, the kink in your neck after you sleep in a funky position. Your body naturally wants to stretch those things out, get things moving.
But how about when you get stuck in negative thoughts or patterns? How do you move those things around, shake them out? Sadly, the brain tends to keep us there.
In Eastern / spiritual medicine, different parts of the body are linked to emotions, so stagnation in the body can also lead to psychological & emotional struggles.
Releasing and clearing those physical blocks can alleviate mental heaviness.
You want to feel that your breath, blood, and fluids can run freely and smoothly through every vein & vessel in your body.
You’re trying to keep things open, light, unobstructed and moving.
FOR OVERWHELM, EXHAUSTION
Gently trace clockwise spirals on your stomach & then counter-clockwise spirals. Talk to yourself like an overtired child who needs a nap, "Ssshh, it's ok, everything is ok, everything is good, sshhh, just rest, let yourself rest”
TO KEEP YOUR ENERGY OPEN & FLOWING
Squeeze the sides of each finger nail and rub the insides of each palm in circles with the tip of your nails
Stand with feet even and bounce up and down on your toes at a good pace so that your heels are lifting up & hitting the ground
Weave hands together and rest on your neck behind your head. Let the weight of your head rest in your hands. Without moving your head, turn eyes far to the right for 10 - 30 seconds. Same looking left. (Vagus Nerve Reset)
FOR DEPRESSION, STRESS
Shake your body with active, energetic movements. Sing, chant. Make the sound VOO from deep in your belly
FOR OVERTHINKING, CREATIVITY BLOCK
Circle & sway your hips. Side to side, in spirals, fast, slow, both directions. Moan, move your voice low to high
FOR ANGER, LACK OF CONFIDENCE
Stomp & punch. Press hard with your hands against a wall. Lie on your stomach and kick & flail your hands & feet. Scream
FOR COMFORT, SUPPORT
Lie down & rest your hands gently on your heart, belly, pelvic area, neck, shoulders, and / or chest. Deep breaths
TO OPEN YOUR HEART
The arms connect to the heart. Lie on a foam roller to open up your chest & shoulders. Rub & massage your upper chest, front of shoulders. Move & swing your arms around
TO AWAKEN SENSUALITY, DESIRE
With 3 fingers, rapidly tap your pelvic area in a spot that feels good. Then rest one finger on a different spot and feel the internal vibration you just created
Sway & grind your hips to activate genitals
Image via @astrosipa
What's The Most Liberating Thought You've Ever Had?
★ MY ANSWERS:
COGNITIVE
"This is the way it is. For right now. And it will change.”
"I don't need to know the answers."
"I don’t know, and can’t possibly know, what’s going to happen in the future."
"Change is good."
"I'm ok."
“Thoughts are real, but they’re not true.”
“Knowing WHY is not important.”
BUDDHIST
“Joy is not controlling.”
"Most of my own suffering is caused by me. That means I can change it.”
“Enlightenment is absolute cooperation with the inevitable.” (Tara Brach)
“Life is a continual succession of agreeable & disagreeable situations.”
"I have my most powerful toolkit with me at all times - my breath, my body, and the present moment."
“Sense what it means to be in the center of now.”
TAOIST
“A warm spring wind steadily dissolves winter ice.”
"A wind that changes direction often, even a very powerful one, will disperse nothing - it only stirs up the sky. The wind that causes real change is the one that blows consistently in the same direction.”
“In a great storm, the wise bird returns to her nest and waits patiently.”
LAW OF ATTRACTION
"When I'm working too hard / pushing for things to be a certain way, I let go of the wheel and let the easier way show itself."
"When things don't fall into place with ease, it's a sign to me that maybe I should reconsider what I'm pushing for."
"It's important for me to notice if I feel drained after being with someone."
★ What are yours??
Prompt by Rob Brezsny
Image by Benjamin Everett
"Manifesting" an Available Partner
On Gina Minardi's podcast, "Spaces Between," I spoke about my attraction to unavailable men and my ongoing process of changing this pattern.
I was used to a push-pull feeling in relationship, challenge, unpredictability. Love wasn't readily given to me, I had to earn it. I never really felt comfortable, but it was exciting and stimulating.
Changing these patterns of attraction is complicated. Now that I'm in a healthy, available, loving relationship, I find ways to push it away.
But I'm realizing I don't need to work to receive love and I don't need to create drama in my life. Life serves up enough.
My 4-Steps to "manifesting" a loving, available partner:
Of course, this was in addition to years of inner work to let go of what I "thought" I needed in my life in order to be happy. I was 40 years old, divorced, dating unavailable men, and had 18 frozen eggs.
What's a girl to do?
I re-wrote my narrative by finding love, purpose, identity, and connection in other ways beyond dating. I deepened my friendships, my spiritual practices. I birthed a business, I created a beautiful home, and I became comfortable with silence & solitude.
The final piece was this manifestation process, which was inspired by my friend @astroccult.
I met my partner 2 months later. ❤️
Note: For the photo wall, you can use pictures of celebrity or fictional couples who inspire you. Some of my favorites are Michelle & Barack and Coach T & Tami from "Friday Night Lights."
Listen to the full interview on Gina Minardi's podcast, "Spaces Between."
x Jori
