Don’t Tell Me to Breathe

I squirm when yoga teachers instruct me to breathe. Holding my breath quickly becomes uncomfortable and how the hell do you "breathe into your back?" ⁣

Art by Louise Bonnet

⁣But I figured out a hack! For me, deep breathing actually requires a counter-intuitive motion, one that at first feels unnatural, but quickly becomes very soothing and powerful. ⁣

⁣I'm always looking for free & available tools so that we can all have more sovereignty and self-reliance - so that we can turn to ourselves as our greatest & most effective place of healing. ⁣

⁣The best thing about your breath is that you have access to it 24 hours a day, wherever you go. It may be your greatest untapped resource. ⁣

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The Hack for Deep Breathing:⁣

INHALING. ⁣

Instead of breathing in on the inhale and sucking air into your chest, try extending / expanding your stomach on the inhale. ⁣

⁣So you purposefully push out your belly, make it nice & full & round when you inhale. It feels different because you're bringing in air into your mouth or nose, while at the same time actively pushing your belly out. Put your hands on your stomach and feel it fill up. ⁣

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EXHALING. ⁣

On the exhale is when you pull / suck your belly in. So, up top - through mouth & nose - you're letting the air out, while down below in your stomach you're pulling your guts & ribs in. ⁣

⁣Exaggerate these movements while you're getting the hang of it and leave your hands on your stomach to feel the pushing out on the inhale and the pulling in on the exhale. ⁣

What do you think? Do you feel your breath traveling deeper than it normally does?⁣

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Using Your Breath to Hone Your Intuition:⁣

⁣Looking for insight on a big decision or trying to figure out how you feel about something in your life? Put your hands on your belly, feel it swelling out & pulling in as you breathe, and close your eyes. ⁣

You can ask a specific question or more broadly, "What is in my highest good to know or see in this situation?" ⁣

Be open to subtle signs - could be a sensation in your body that you may be able to interpret, an image or memory, a soft whisper, or a sense of knowing. ⁣

If you get nothing, just feel the sense of calm & peace in your body. Your intuition communicates in alchemical ways and isn't always literal.

Happy Hunting!

EMDR

Samburu or Maasai

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful, well-researched treatment for anxiety & trauma that activates each side of the brain and accelerates the processing of memories. ⁣

⁣This technique, called "Bilateral Stimulation (BLS)," occurs, for example, by holding buzzers that alternate a soft vibration in each hand ... right-left, right-left.⁣

If this sounds bizarre, I'm with you. ⁣

However, when we activate a disturbing memory by bringing up the emotions, body sensations & thoughts associated with it and then add BLS, an extraordinary free-associative mind-body process begins. ⁣

Thoughts, feelings, old memories, or dreamlike fantasies move rapidly through our awareness during this time. As this information is processed, new insights and ways of viewing ourselves & our lives emerge. ⁣

It's an "a-ha" moment, when things register in a profound way and the negative emotions are less charged. These old memories, and our interpretations of them, no longer feel as disturbing. ⁣

⁣It's Possible: The memories do not go away, but the ongoing, circular thoughts just do not bother you as much anymore!⁣

Despite all the empirical evidence of the power of Bilateral Stimulation (BLS) to help people, we do not know exactly how it works in scientific terms. There are two main theories that may shed some light. ⁣

⁣Theory 1:

The rhythm of the stimulation causes a calming effect on the nervous system. Drumming & dancing have been used for thousands of years by cultures around the world to support the processing of traumatic experiences. The calming effect of rhythm may be hardwired into us from the time we were in our mother's womb, listening to her heartbeat. ⁣

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Theory 2:

This explanation involves the right-left stimulation of the brain's two hemispheres. Similar to what happens during REM or dream sleep, information is processed in a non-linear way, memories are activated and then integrated into a broader picture. In our dream state, or when we tap right-left, right-left, we help the brain activate memory networks and integrate information that is stored in our subconscious and not always accessible in our everyday waking life. ⁣

Do you have trouble making decisions? Quieting the critical voice in your head? Believing that you're good enough? Putting your past behind you?⁣

Try EMDR ... It is amazing the peace you can find!⁣

#LaurelParnell

The Power of Touch

Some healing cannot happen through words alone. Sometimes, the pains of the mind do not need more thinking, but rather need the soothing power of touch. Since long before recorded history, lineages around the world used touch to heal the body, mind, heart and spirit. ⁣

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The therapeutic touch used in hands-on somatic work can be very helpful in the process of therapy. Touch creates balance and calm, assists emotional understanding and release, helps connect you to your body and sensations, and increases comfort in the body. ⁣

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It is done fully clothed laying on a bodywork table. In the past, you may have had trouble fully accessing what you're feeling with a therapist and then crying in a yoga class or during a massage. Hands-on work connects this bridge. ⁣

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The therapist listens to the body rather than analyzing or trying to change it. You will be asked to listen to your own sensations as well. Together, we’ll explore body sensations and what situations, thoughts, memories, conflicts or questions might be behind them and what the sensations are asking for. ⁣

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Beautifully expressed by our somatic therapist, Laura Fuller.

Therapy > Talking

As psychotherapists, we were not typically trained to ask about your body, your bowels, about what you eat, or how you sleep. How much we miss! ⁣

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A big blind spot for me, as a therapist, is HORMONES. It’s common for people to seek help for feelings of depression, irritability, insomnia, or difficulty focusing. And I have ideas about all of those. However, recently my clients have been educating me about perimenopause, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and autoimmune disease and I can see how much I’ve missed with my interventions. ⁣

Incorporating Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and Acupuncture into your treatment program can help in ways that talk therapy can’t. TCM uses a variety of techniques including acupuncture, herbal medicine, and lifestyle/dietary recommendations to restore imbalances found in the body. Our acupuncturist, Heather Castagno, can understand how your psychological symptoms may be linked to your hormones/menstrual cycle and can support you in different ways than we shrinks can. ⁣ ⁣

 With all of us under one roof, we can help you in a comprehensive way. 🧡

How to Feel Better Immediately

Upstream / Downstream Thinking⁣

Recall a time when you tried to swim against the current in a river or in an ocean. Feel how hard you had to work to move even a few inches. You’re kicking, you’re paddling. See the people at the shore - you’ve moved nowhere! How could I be working this hard and made no progress?! I’m exhausted.

☞This is an upstream feeling.☜⁣

Now imagine letting yourself be taken by the current. How easy and effortless it is. You’re in the flow of a lazy river. You move naturally and smoothly.

Take a breath and feel this. ☞This is a downstream feeling.☜⁣

Apply this concept to life. You know the feeling when you’re working hard to force a situation into how you want it to be, how you think it should be? You’re working harder than anyone else around you. Things are just not going the way they’re supposed to. You’re frustrated. People aren’t doing what you want them to, damnit! UPSTREAM. ⁣

The key to feeling happier and better in life is to make deliberate choices to feel *slightly* better, more downstream, in each moment. You’re not going to go from depression and hopelessness immediately to joy and gratitude. That’s unrealistic. But, can you find a way to feel a little bit of relief, a little of that downstream feeling? ⁣

The main thing you need to consider in the moment is: Am I pointed upstream or downstream? You do not need to look for an end-all solution to your problem, just something that feels *a little bit better* right now. If you let that be your consideration, you can begin moving toward the desired state you seek. ⁣

If we were to apply this way of thinking to our dating life, it might look like this:

“I’m sick of being single. I want to be in a relationship."⁣

Remember, your job is to make the choice to choose a downstream thought (to feel *a little* better in the moment) rather than an upstream thought (to continue feeling depressed or frustrated). ⁣

⁣UPSTREAM⁣

Dating is so hard. ⁣

The people I like don’t like me. ⁣

I’m never going to meet anyone. ⁣

⁣All the guys my age are looking for women younger than me. ⁣

I should have married the third guy ago. Why did I break up with him?⁣

⁣My clock is ticking. I’m running out of time. ⁣

⁣I know I will be happy once I meet my soulmate.

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DOWNSTREAM⁣

Even though I don’t know how I’m going to meet my future mate, I am open to new possibilities and I’m not ready to give up. ⁣

I may not know where he/she is coming from, but I know that I will be more attractive if I am enjoying life when I meet them. ⁣

It’s fun for me to discover what makes me happy on my own. I know that figuring this out for myself is important. And it feels good!⁣

I know I’m not the only person who feels lonely. Even people in relationships feel lonely. ⁣

Dating helps me learn about myself and about the qualities I’m looking for in a relationship. Each person I’ve spent time with has helped me shape the picture of what I want. ⁣

I like spending time with people who are in happy relationships because it helps me see what’s possible. ⁣

I’m on a date, I’m at a new restaurant and I’m enjoying this conversation. I don’t have to know right now if this is my life partner.⁣

✺ How do you feel after reading each paragraph? The downstream thoughts don't have to be life-altering, you're just looking for a tiny bit of relief. Give it a try and let us know how it goes! ✺