Love addicts focus almost completely on the person to whom they are addicted. At the beginning, this feels fantastic. Eventually, as Love Addicts try harder and harder to manipulate the other person to live up to the mental image they have created -someone who will care for and love them the way they long to be cared for and loved- they experience repeated disappointments, because no one can satisfy these insatiable desires.
Tragically, Love Addicts are usually drawn to Love Avoidants, who tend to avoid commitment and healthy intimacy because they believe that they will be drained and engulfed by it. Unconsciously, however, both the Love Addict and the Love Avoidant have the same two fears: intimacy and being left. Read on for a deeper explanation.
Read MoreThe term narcissism gets thrown around a lot and, since it exists on a continuum, some cases are more obvious than others. For example, not all narcissists command the spotlight with their bold, brash personalities. Some narcissists demand the attention of the room by playing the victim or describing their problems as greater than anyone else’s problems. You may not immediately resonate with the idea of having a narcissistic parent or it may be uncomfortable for you to think of them in this way. However, as you begin to explore your childhood through a different lens, a more nuanced picture may emerge, which can help you understand yourself better.
Read MoreIn case you haven’t noticed, you have a mental dialogue going on inside your head that never stops. It just keeps going and going. Have you ever wondered why it talks in there? How much of what it says turns out to be true or is even important? And if right now you are hearing, "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have any voice in my head!" -- that's the voice we're talking about.
The best way to free yourself from this incessant chatter, is to step back and view it objectively. Don’t think about it, just notice it. It doesn't matter what it's saying, it's just a voice talking in your head. If you're hearing it talk, then it's obviously not you. You are not that voice. You are the one who hears the voice. You are the one who notices that it's talking.
Read MoreHave you wondered where your internalized message of "I'm not good enough," comes from? Do you feel you give life your best, work hard, try hard, but still can't give yourself credit? Are you constantly beating yourself up and thinking that somehow you should be more, do more, be better, and you don't measure up in your own mind?
Read MoreWhen a person experiences traumatic events, the aftermath can be extremely debilitating. Trauma not only affects the mind, but can have lifelong effects on the body. For survivors, their bodies feel deeply unsafe, so the enemy that was once living outside is now living within. So they need to befriend their bodies, safely go inside and experience themselves. There is too much emphasis on the capacity of the cognitive rational brain to conquer our irrational survival brain. You can't rely on reason, you need rely on mastery of your body, safety of your body, finding peace in your body. You need to find some way where your body once again feels like "I am in control of myself."
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